guess who's 2nd in line..?

guess who's 2nd in line..?

misternumbertwo

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Confession

[May. 20th, 2010|09:00 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	satisfied	]
[	Music	\|	She is Love - Parachute	]

The other night, I finally mustered enough courage to admit to her that I do like her. I keep having these dreams about her for the past few days and I think its a subconcious way of myself telling me that I should spill it out. So without hesitation, I finally admitted to her. She asked a lot of questions. And I mean a lot. She knew I was a jokester and she said if this was a joke, its one mean joke. Even though its going to make a whole lot of things complicated, I had to admit to her.

I do like her. It puts me and her in a difficult situation because now that we both know, a lot of things can change within the office. She's used to me teasing her a lot which I can't do no more. It's hard to tease her to some other guy and not be affected at all. I mean, c'mon.

It's been a long time since I've felt like this. I've been inlove before but not like this wherein it keeps me up at night. Wherein she's constantly in my mind and I'm willing to do anything just to spend some time with her. Even in my previous relationships, I've never felt this way. The one thing that stands out the most is that this was not something instant. It built up. It went on stages until it reached where it is now. I'm too far in to back out but I know I can't push on anymore. She's just so pure and I can't afford to be with her because she might get hurt if she'll be with me.

Anyone who knows me deeply knows that I am a bigass complainer. I don't feel contentment easily and I hate to be stagnant. But I think for the 1st time in my life, I'd be fine on being just like this. Not moving an inch closer but not letting her slip away. I'll see where this would take me and I know this time I can wait. It doesn't really matter if there's someone I am waiting for. I don't really care. I'm not betting that I'd be with her anyways. But atleast I have this. I get to talk to her. I get to see her. A few times I get to hold her. But most importantly, I'd get to see her smile.

I don't care if I have to drive her to McDonald's every 3 in the morning to check if their Sundae is available. I don't care if I have to bring her chocolates everyday. I don't care if I have to watch cartoons and kiddie movies with her every weekend. I am happy with the way things are going. I'll never ask anything from her that I know would be difficult for her to give. Do I want her? YES. I'm damn sure. Am I afraid to have her? Yes, I don't want to be given a chance to hurt her. But if given a chance to have her, I'll take care of her. That I can promise.

They call her Shantel. I call her love, love, love, love, love :D

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5 words|what did you say?

I don't want to tell her that I love her more than life...

[Apr. 3rd, 2010|08:46 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	melancholy	]
[	Music	\|	That Girl - David Choi	]

Oh, tonight I'm feeling fine
I'm alone, just wasting time
No Friday movie nights
Or romantic candle lights

I'm just having conversations
With the thoughts in my head
All I hear are angels crying
Oh, won't they just sing instead
It would be wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life, Yeah
Love her more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Honestly, this won't do
How is she doing?
I tell myself I'm feeling swell
But I know I'm such a fool

I could take it as a new beginning
But you know I don't feel that way
Who will take all this pain away?
I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life, Yeah
Love her more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Talk about a sin
Was the day I walked into the other side
I would run back in
I wouldn't waste no time
I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her that
I love her more than life
More than life, Yeah
Love her more than life
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Link

what did you say?

damn.

[Mar. 31st, 2010|08:00 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	blank	]
[	Music	\|	Cold Summer Nights - Nina	]

Still the same story. I think the girl is falling deeper. I wish I could disappear from her right now... But she's dealing with a lot of problems now and I feel that I need to stay a little longer to help her hang on. I just wish this was a whole different story I was writing about. We'd be better off as friends.

I just wish she sees that I really like her friend.

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what did you say?

Caught between a rock and a hard place

[Mar. 23rd, 2010|07:22 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	shocked	]
[	Music	\|	Use Somebody - Kings of Leon	]

I've been going out a few times with this girl from work. Not the girl in the previous posts though. With her friend. All the while I thought everything was clear that I want to be friends. I want to be close but not too close. Now, everything's all messed up coz I think the other girl's falling for me.

It's really hard for me to talk to the friend and explain the reason why I really befriended her. My real crush asked me if there was something between me and her friend. I wanted to tell her the real reason why she was seeing this closeness between me and her friend but I got tongue-tied again.

I just hope I am wrong. I hope no one unintended to fall, falls and the one I want to fall, falls.

Link

what did you say?

I won a kiss

[Mar. 8th, 2010|07:51 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	excited	]
[	Music	\|	First Believed - Hoku	]

Funny story. I just won a kiss from my crush :D

Me and her played a bet over some work related email reply. She told me that she'll be impressed if I'd be able to get a decent reply from some people over a quick period of time. I asked her if I get a reply from those people, will I get a kiss from her.. and she said YES.

And I guess it was indeed my lucky night. Within 5 minute, emails popped out on both of our computers which meant I won!!!! yey!!!

Now my only problem is how the hell will I be able to claim it? :D I won't worry much though. Atleast I have something to claim from her :D

Link

what did you say?

Opening up

[Mar. 4th, 2010|08:52 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	contemplative	]
[	Music	\|	Strong Enough - Kina Grannis	]

Our mid-day break is one thing that I appreaciate a lot . I'd get to spend time with someone on our team that I find really pretty. I make an effort to snatch the seat right beside her or right in front of her. Whenever we would sit beside each other, I try to find time to talk to her silently and today was the first time that she opened up.

It started by me opening up about relationships. How hard long distance relationships is, how I handle fights and how I resolve problems. She then told me that she's having problems with her bf. She's feeling a bit unsure if she should stick with him or no. I wanted to tell her "breakup with him!!!" but I couldn't and I shouldn't. Decisions like that should be left to the persons involved in the relationship.

I can see how beautiful of a person she is. I can see that she is quite unhappy with the current setup she has with her someone but due to the fact that she might hurt the guy, she opts to stay in the relationship. That's something. She really has a very good heart.

That guy is damn lucky to have her.

Link

what did you say?

FINALLY!

[Feb. 28th, 2010|05:45 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	hopeful	]
[	Music	\|	Find me - Boyce Avenue	]

The whole team went out :) Took some pictures of her :) I drool everytime I look at her pictures :D

And.. I'll try to be close with her bestbud at work hoping that this will lead me to her :D I hope this plan pans out..

Link

what did you say?

She's cute

[Jan. 20th, 2010|08:45 am]

[	Tags	\|	kid	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	hopeful	]
[	Music	\|	Never say never - The Fray	]

It took longer for me to write about her. Maybe I am a little unsure if I should considering me and B haven't been talking, I just don't want B to have another reason to be mad at me. I work in a team mostly composed of girls. Its hard not to notice them. Sure there's this girl that everyone's been pairing with me. Funny. She's cute but, no way my type. I guess I'm not really attracted to cuteness anymore. :D

There's this girl on our team. Silent but super nice. The way she carries herself impresses me. I go crazy looking at her over lunch and it results to me always joking around her to try and make her laugh. She has one of the purest smiles I've ever seen. Similar to a child-like crush which I never thought I will have again. The type that makes you freeze and stop what your doing when she passes by.

I hope I'll get to know her more. She may be one reason for me to stay where I'm at for a long time.

Link

what did you say?

D40 addict :D

[Jan. 17th, 2010|12:19 am]

[	Tags	\|	photography :d	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	amused	]
[	Music	\|	Somewhere only we know - Keane	]

Finally, time and budget permitted me to buy myself my very own SLR. I had a choice whether I should buy the newer D3000 or the older D40. Since I always stick to what works. I bought the D40. I've never been happier!

Here are the shots that I am currently proud of :)

I may not be that proud of the last one though :)

Link

what did you say?

Teach me how to talk. Please.

[Dec. 28th, 2009|02:29 am]

[	Tags	\|	waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah	]
[	Location	\|	at home	]
[	Mood	\|	blank	]
[	Music	\|	Remembering Sunday - All time low	]

Crap. Up until today, the only word that I can utter is "Hi" or I can always throw-in the nod with an innocent smile. No, I'm not going into my 2nd childhood nor did my mom cut my tongue. I just run out of things to say when I bump into her. People are used to me being the loud one, the jokester, and the one whom has a lot of stories. But whenever I make a left turn after the office entrance, I seem to lose all my tongue. It feels dumb because every chance that I get to interact with her becomes a weird moment. I feel like one of the geeks that I watch from the sitcom named The Big Band Theory.

It was the last day of work and as usual, I find her in her place. She always comes in ahead of me because we work differents shifts. I pass by, she says "Hi" and I give her the nod with an innocent smile. That sucks. I really want to sit right beside her, hand her this belgian chocolate that has been in my bag for the last two weeks waiting to be given to her and exchange anywhats and anyhows. Just strike a conversation. But I guess the more she smiles at me, the more this tongue of mine ceases to operate. I just hope I would be able to talk to her right before that chocolate in my bag melts and cover everything inside. Maybe by then I have something to share to her.

Link

1 word|what did you say?

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